I've been having a difficult time in my life just recently. Its helped create a lot of doubt in myself, and not a lot of looking forward. I'm unsure about where I will be, where I will live, that sort of thing. Even who I am. Its been difficult, and I've been sad a lot.
I got an email from someone today that really helped me. A woman I never met found me on facebook, and sent this from her "things about me" note that has been going around a lot. She sent the note to me, explaining that I was the anonymous person she mentioned in it.
The reason she sought me out was for something I had done for her, without ever meeting or knowing her.
About a year or two ago I reconditioned some older PC's my company was replacing and gave them to needy causes/people. Some of the recipients I knew about already, but I also decided to look on craigslist and found someone who needed a computer. This person was her.
The fact that this came back to me at such a difficult time in my life leaves me just speechless in awe.
Remember to pay it forward.
So it can come back to you.
Share how you've been the recipient of someone "paying it forward" for you:
About a year ago, in desperate need of a computer, I put a posting on Craig's List asking to barter for a used one. I explained that I am a 'starving artist/writer' and needed the computer to keep moving toward a career in writing.
A gentleman responded with a surprising offer: he'd provide a reconditioned CPU and all he wanted in return was for me to "pay it forward" and do a kindness for someone in my future. He arranged a neutral spot to leave the computer for me (he didn't want any recognition or to be thanked in person), and I'm still using it! He gave me so much, when he provided that random act of kindness. I wish I could tell him the ways I've helped others in 'payment' to him.
Years ago before I really knew what I wanted to do with my life, I was living the life of what the media called "A Slacker". I was out of college for a few years by then, and had tried different things, mostly things other people had told me I would do well at. None of it was art, or teaching, or computers, the things I went to school for. I was sick of the city, my father who was living alone in the house I grew up in on Cape Cod called me one day and suggested I move home for a while. This coincided so well with my weariness at not knowing what I wanted to do that I agreed. Once home however, on the Cape in the off season, I found what I always knew; work was scarce. I let the insurance on my car expire, and started riding my bicycle most places. I found a job at a small pizza place and bar down the street from my house, near the beach. I worked nights, made pizzas, served beer until closing. Mopped floors, rode my bicycle home in the dark. It wasn't horrible, I was sort of insulated by my situation, I wasn't scared about not making money because I didn't need any. I'd always had a touch of bohemian in me, not a lot of possessions except books. And I was seeking something, which alternated between a career, a girlfriend, and myself.
Friends in the city started to look me up after a while, I found some of my closest friends were really excited about computers. Not the Apple computers from College, those had evolved into platforms that people were using to create things; publishing, video, desktop publishing were taking off. I visited people and started exploring the idea of working with computers again, this time with the goal of getting a job and trying to get out of the catch 22 I was in. Without a car, I couldn't travel, so job offers were harder to find. Without a job, I couldn't afford insurance to get the car on the road.
Since I couldn't afford a computer, I borrowed manuals. Anything I could get my hands on. Computer, software, or printer, I gladly accepted any. It was very difficult to have a goal of learning to use a computer when all you have are pictures and your imagination. I sought out any computer I could get my hands on. I spent hours at the library using their one lone, underpowered black and white Macintosh. I bought books too, but mostly I bought magazines, since the field (and the information) was so new. As I worked my shifts at the bar I would read them like homework assignments, highlighting words I didn't understand, or acronyms I wanted to look up later. Some of the locals, the fishermen and tradesmen, slackers like me and old men would see the reading material and tease me. My boss would endlessly shout to me (and everyone in earshot) asking "if I was thinking of quitting", and "what was I, a computer super hero?" to the laughter of the bar.
Eventually, I started driving to the city in my uninsured car on my nights off. I would go into my friend's studio as they left and the workday ended, and practice the software programs I couldn't get access to, on their computers that I myself on my horrible pay could never afford. I would work until I couldn't stay awake any longer, and sleep under the desks until it was time to get up and drive back to the Cape before the office filled up.
A friend who was watching my progress mentioned to me that her boss was going to be looking for someone to help with a desktop publishing position, part time. I had been making less than $300 a week, and was really starting to despair at my money situation, but I felt I wasn't ready yet. She kept after me, assuring me I knew "more than the people that were already working there." I agreed to try, and met my friend's boss for an interview. I showed her samples of work I had done (and some I had borrowed from a friend when he saw how skimpy my samples pile was) She liked my work, and his and asked about salary. I had been prepped by my friend, and so like I had practiced on the way to the interview a thousand million times, I said "$25 an hour." There was a pause that felt like an eternity. I was about to blurt out that I would take anything when she smiled and said "I've got no problem with that."
In my first week, I made so much money, I felt like I had won the lottery. To look the part for the first weeks until I was paid, I had to borrow clothes appropriate for an office, and wear shirts and pants slightly too small for me. When I got my first check, it was so much money I cried.
After working for several weeks in the city, driving back and forth from the Cape, I started staying with friends on their couch in Back Bay. Things had progressed nicely, I was mad for the work I was doing, I loved it. Desktop publishing at that time was a real career, it had so many elements to it. There was typography and fonts, art and color and printing and design, all on top of having to learn the design software. But what I really fell in love with was the Macintosh. The operating system to me was like a story in itself, it was so clever and well done, all the things to learn and know were so much fun. I discovered the visual language of the programs, saw the consistencies from one to another, it helped me use software I had never studied, or even seen before. I loved resolving problems, keeping it the computer running well, fixing it when it crashed. I liked showing other people things I had learned, and felt like I was finally using my art, and my teaching experience, and now computers.
After a year I moved from Boston to New York City. I transitioned from being a computer artist and working on Macs, to fixing them in design firms. I loved the IT field for a lot of the same reasons I first loved the depth of design. IT had so much to know, and seemed like another exciting career to me. This was during the big tech boom of the 90's, and work was everywhere, I kept studying very hard staying late, reading and learning. I quickly moved up in positions until I was managing IT people under me. One of my friends I met in New York at my first real management positon had business cards made for me. He knew my story from hearing it over many beers late at night, after putting together servers or working on projects together. I keep some of them, as a reminder to me, of who I was, and who I became.
Based on a creative idea from Gedeon Maheux of iconfactory fame, here is my (horribly late) Story Songs post. Please be kind.
I thought it would only be fair to use the songs I thought of right off the bat when Ged first mentioned the idea. However I feel compelled to explain a bit about where they come from. I liked the idea of the blog post first because it sounded fun and would get me motivated to write a little something, but I also liked it because I've always been a fan of songs with a little novelty to them. I think its something that could paint me in an unflattering light just as easily, because (and this is where I felt compelled to explain) I've always been pretty lenient when it comes to music. (I was nervous the intelligentsia would poo poo my taste in music as provincial.) I like most things I come across, I like to think I can enjoy almost anyone's music (having said that, I have to also admit I can't stand Country music, except maybe the stuff my Dad used to listen to, which is now officially "Old Country".) My relative new finding is folk music, which I have never really listened to but have been enjoying in small doses lately. To sum up, anything new and different to listen to is ok by me.
So without further delay, here's a few of my favorite Story Songs.
1. Michelle Shocked "Anchorage" Short Sharp Shocked
Choosing this song, which I first listened to years ago around the time I was at Mass College of Art, was a no brainer. It seemed a pretty obvious choice, since the style of Folk music, and Michelle's style of singing in this album and song in particular is very much pure storytelling. Its not hard to see why her debut was so popular, I really love her voice, and the story is sentimental, like me.
2. Dire Straits "Skateaway" (Rollergirl) Making Movies
I loved the video that they made for this song, it told the story of someone surrounded by so much city but still in her own world, with music, perfectly. I didn't have to live in NYC to appreciate it, (but I did.)
3. Jim Croce "You Don't Mess Around With Jim" (or Bad, Bad Leroy Brown take your pick) Jim Croce's Greatest Hits
Without meaning to, I'm picking music thats older than I am, but I defy you to not sing along to either of these two songs driving in your car somewhere away from the Cape Cod traffic where you can drive fast enough to enjoy the experience. Some of my earliest memories of music have Jim Croce albums in them, as his tragic death in a plane crash was upsetting to hear about for a little kid. Time in a bottle was a killer in retrospect to his death, and years later "New York's Not My Home" was a pretty tough song to listen to in my sad little Manhattan apartment all alone.
4. Chris Smither "No Love Today" (The fruit and vegetable song) Drive You Home Again
I heard Chris singing this song on NPR one night, and the lyrics were so amazing I scribbled down just enough to look it up on the internet when I got home so i could get the album. For it to count in the Songs that tell a Story category you'll want to find a live version where he explains the roots of the "the fruit and vegetable man" who figures prominently in the song. Chris lives in Arlington Ma, and if I had to guess, from what I've pieced together its because after coming to Cambridge for the folk scene he married a Bay Stater. He travels so much, I mean SO much I can't believe his schedule, but I keep waiting for a show here at home so I can see him live. He is why I got turned on to Folk music, he's a perfect addition to this list.
5. They might be Giants "The House At The Top Of The Tree" NO!
I love just about everything these guys have done. My good friend Dion in NYC turned me on to them with the single "The Sun" and I was hooked. I also lived in Brooklyn, (where they lived) and saw them live at shows in the city many times. This song is in this list because its a great little trip to a house at the top of a tree and back down, its sweet and funny and another one you will find yourself singing in that car with the windows down.
When I'm lyin' in my bed at night
I don't wanna grow up.
Nothin ever seems to turn out right
I don't wanna grow up.
How do you move in a world of fog
That's always changing things
Makes me wish that I could be a dog
When I see the price that you pay
I don't wanna grow up.
I dont ever wanna be that way
I don't wanna grow up.
Seems like folks turn into things
That theyd never want
The only thing to live for
Is today...
Im gonna put a hole in my tv set
I don't wanna grow up.
Open up the medicine chest
And I don't wanna grow up.
I don't wanna have to shout it out
I don't want my hair to fall out
I don't wanna be filled with doubt
I don't wanna be a good boy scout
I don't wanna have to learn to count
I don't wanna have the biggest amount
I don't wanna grow up.
Well when I see my parents fight
I dont wanna grow up.
They all go out and drinking all night
and I dont wanna grow up.
I'd rather stay here in my room
Nothin out there but sad and gloom
I dont wanna live in a big old tomb
On grand street
When I see the 5 oclock news
I don't wanna grow up.
Comb their hair and shine their shoes
I don't wanna grow up.
Stay around in my old hometown
I don't wanna put no money down
I don't wanna get me a big old loan
Work them fingers to the bone
I don't wanna float a broom
Fall in love and get married then boom
How the hell did I get here so soon
I don't wanna grow up.
My favorite writer, Andre Dubus, felt that making food for his family was a tiny sacrament. In his story, "Out of the Snow," he said: "Watching the brown sugar bubbling in the light of the flames, smelling it and the cinnamon, and listening to her family talking about snow, she told herself that this toast and oatmeal were a sacrament, the physical form that love assumed in this moment." "Being a mother had taught her that sacraments were her work, and their number was infinite."
He felt that sacraments weren't confined to the Catholic's seven, but that life could be filled with them, which has a lot of similarities to the writing and ideas of Josemaria Escriva; finding grace in everyday work and in one's profession.
Only thing missing in this perfect sunday pic is the boys seated on either side of me.
Man how weird. I finished up a long week, I feel good that I got lots done, but I also feel like my time just isn't my own. I'm supposed to help out the nice old lady next door with her new PC and wireless router, but frankly I'd rather stick needles in my eyes. It's friday night, I'd love a beer but tomorrow is the work Halloween party, so drinking tonight would just be silly. I'm exhausted but bored and a little restless. The teenager has his GF over, which really makes me uncomfortable in our small house, so its down to the basement Lab I go. Julie is busy with a quilt project (I've been ignore more and more lately since she got her new long-arm quilting machine, but she is so happy and motivated, I can't say I don't understand it.) So I feel compelled to tackle a fun and totally useless tech project down in the somewhat clean basement Lab. So what do I do when the moon is full and I'm restless for some tech fun? That's right. Time to bust out the BIG MACS and get an AU/X server up and running, and on the web. Why the hell not? I have 3 workgroup servers, 2 SCSI cards for them, drives stacked up over Logan, and some hours to kill that are mine all mine. No phone calls, please.
Track Shipments/FedEx Kinko's Orders
Detailed Results Printable Version Quick Help
Ship date
Oct 25, 2007
Estimated delivery
Oct 26, 2007 by 10:30 AM
Destination
MA
Service type
Priority Overnight
Status
In transit
I've always been fascinated by computer viruses. I've read lots of books, and in my job, used to take great delight in the challenge of removing them from friends/coworkers computers. This goes back to when I was living in NYC. I used to post to the antivirus newsgroups, I've communicated via email back and forth a few times with Dr. Solomon, emailed Robert Morris at MIT like some sad groupie (under the pretense of asking him if it was ok to use the MIT NTP servers which he was in charge of at the time) saved a woman's doctoral thesis from an attached virus and certain doom, stuff like that. I have even kept a small collection of viruses (both Mac and Windows based). And so coming across an old stash of Mac virii tonight, I decided to scan one with the latest Mac OS X AV scanner, Clamxav.
To whit:
Scanning /Users/dschultz/Desktop/worm in here/Desktop Print Spooler
----------- SCAN SUMMARY -----------
Known viruses: 293043
Engine version: 0.91.2
Scanned directories: 0
Scanned files: 1
Infected files: 0 <---------------------------!!!
Data scanned: 0.05 MB
Time: 3.132 sec (0 m 3 s)
Now for a second test, I google an online file AV scanner, and upload the exact same file:
Attention!
Kaspersky Anti-Virus has detected a virus in the file you have submitted.
Scanned file: Desktop Print Spooler - Infected
Desktop Print Spooler - infected by Worm.Mac.Autostart.a
How sad is that? A PC product finds the Macintosh virus without any problems. The macintosh AV breezes right by, and I suspect has absolutely no database of Macintosh virii. (yes I am talking about viruses for Mac OS 9 and earlier, not X specifically)
All of my regular readers (hi mom) will of course immediately see that I did, of course, start the upgrade after 11pm. I find this ensures I will be up working on it pretty much beyond what a normal person would call prudent. I learned a great deal though, I had some breakthrough moments with my templates, in that love hate relationship we've had going on now for some time. I'd like to learn more, but the reason for the breakthrough is my vacation. I've been on it now for about half a week, and the oodles of free time spent out in the garden and basking in the sun at the beach have been wonderfully counterpointed with tech stuff that I wanted to do. So much of my time is helping other people, and of course keeping work up to date and running that I don't often get to spend as much time as I want, and certainly not enough time as I sometimes would need to, for things like learning the movabletype blogging system's templates and coding. I got to sleep late to make up for being up all night, but damnit it was fun and totally worth it. Now, back outside to pick some cucumbers and lay in the sun.
When my Might Mouse™ from Apple stopped scrolling up, I took a few minutes and found a fix on Apple's support discussion pages. Here it is, to help others fix their mice up, real nice.
From Kitchissippi's post:
"Just hold the mouse upside down and firmly press and scroll the ball for a few times. There's gunk in the sensors (dead skin cells, etc.) and it needs to be cleared — remember the old mice with the rubber ball? Well it the same except the ball is now on top! Next, I take a scrap of paper, fold it in half, and run it along between the ball and the hole to scoop up the loosened gunk. Short of taking the mouse apart to clean it, this is the easiest way to get the scroll ball working properly.
Hope this works for you."
It did! I took a business card and gently scraped around the top of the hole where the track ball sits and lo and behold, lots of gunk came out. Ewwww. Thanks!
Once my ark is full of every piece of Apple Media my plan will be complete.
Yeah, you. Close your eyes. Well, you're reading, so think about closing your eyes. And relaxing. Find a clear moment to sit in. Got it? Ok.
Now. Imagine your computer is going to betray you. Your precious ally, your confident, is about to give up the ghost. Visualize losing all your bookmarks on your computer. Now envision your precious digital photos, all your birthdays and anniversaries, poof. Your address book, filled with 7 years of addresses of friends and family, some contacts you only have here and in no other place. Those Word documents, the ones you typed out. Work you spent days on. All your itunes music, bought and paid for. You know, they don't offer repeat downloads of that stuff, no matter how much you cry. And what about the much larger illegal collection of tunes you stole? Ouch right? Never mind digital movies, DVD projects, sound files, and good lord, EMAIL?
Scary right? But you're ok.
For now.
Now go backup.
I upgraded MovableType on my blog to version 3.2. I started having some minor issues, when I found a few pages that seemed to be discussing my problem. Sure enough they were right, I just needed to do a few tweaks. The funny part is I read a note that cautioned people not to start updating late at night, when no one would be able to help. Well, the clock was running down for me to get to bed (had to be in the office early to meet vendors upgrading our T1) and I managed to get the whole thing done and working before bedtime. Now that I am looking at the tools available to me (the upgrades to tools I started using 2 years ago) I am simply blown away. flickr.com uploaded photos directly to my MT blog with just typing in my user name and password. A free, private developer written plugin for iPhoto worked flawlessly to take pics from my iPhoto and send them to Flickr. Ecto, which I bought ages ago, had an update too, and is posting this note. Really simple, and just amazing programs that I think make blogging on the Mac so freaking easy. I installed Movabletype back when it was new and sort of rare to see, as it wasn't exactly easy to do. But sheesh, now anyone can do it so easily its freaking me out.
Then She Appeared from the album "Nonsuch" by XTC
My Apple Airport Base Station gave up the ghost a week ago. I knew it was time to start looking for alternatives. I found it needed to be reset several times for no reason. Just red lights on the front panel saying, "Something wicked this way comes". But being more than 4 years old at least, I was psyched to update the thing anyway. Apple has a nice interface for configuring a home network (I need to use port forwarding to get my newton server online. I wish it had some fundamental features that all wireless routers seem to lack (like a simple way to see if you are handing out IP's to the neighbors) without having to set up a syslog server. Which I did, but only because I thought it was cool, and I was bored.
Technorati Tags: airport
Recently, Brad Suinn from Apple took down his own personal .mac home pages where he has worked for quite a while, amassing info on the vagaries of ASIP and how to navigate its less than documented waters. It got me thinking about the passage of time, and what it means for Mac Managers. I emailed him when I saw something about it in the ASIP mailing list. I stay on the list, even though I'm working with and interested now in ASIP's big brother, Mac OS X Server. He emailed back, and I won't say what he said, since Apple is just this side of Big Brother, just that he would be finding out what was to become of the ASIP black magic files soon, once Apple decided where they should go, Im certain. ASIP black magic was the name of the tips and tricks Brad had put together, nothing more than a basic FAQ for Mac admins who were looking for help.
After getting all the info for my installation together, I have to admit, things went very smoothly.
I think its mostly because by 2003, most ISP's have the basic setups in place to make MT work on their customers web space without too much hassle. A database with MYSQL, the latest PERL installed, inexpensive Unix hosting all made my installation a breeze. People reading this who are thinking of starting their own blog site or using movabletype for whatever purpose would do well to check out www.omnis.com, my provider. Hosting plans start at $1 a month, with features added ala carte. (hey mention my name, if you do.) So for another buck you can add MYSQL, (they do charge a fee for setup initially) and thats all you need for MT. You get an email account with it for free, you can add as many more as you like.
So if you are still with me as far as advice for a smooth install goes, get your FTP user name and pw so you can upload MT to your website, log into your control panel and print out your website info (this will help keep you organized) as your database info can all be found online using omnis's webserver control panel.
Laundry list: Your SQL path, database name, database username and pw, FTP user name and password. To make changes to your config file, Mac OS 9 users should head over to www.versiontracker.com and download the free lite version of bbedit. OS X users can also get a copy of bbedit, or just use Textedit which comes with OS X. PC users can use wordpad. And finally, get a GOOD FTP program! (windows ftp application choices just plain blow imho. Im sorry, but the mac's Transmit application from www.panic.com/transmit/ is just so sweet. It has a split pane window, your stuff on one side, their stuff on the other. Drag files between the windows. Rename files, make folders, change permissions (using the Mac OS's standard get info command, what could be easier than that? This is imperitive for Movable type to work, but using a Unix shell? "chmod 755 blah blah blah?" Nein, thank you)
